In Which I Complain

So, a few of the reasons why I'm a horrible horrible terrible person (this week):

1. I've already decided to give up on NaNoWriMo.  I wrote 6,783 words, but every single one of them is a disgrace to literature, so I'm abandoning it.  It's a mercy killing, really.  Since the only reason I decided to do it in the first place was to prove to myself that I can finish something, it really is quite funny.

2.  I've gained 15 pounds since coming here.  Seriously.  I found a scale today.  Which means that I officially a fat fat fatty.

3. We've been doing scene work in class, which means that I get to return to the happy place of, "Oh, God, I'm so bad at acting.  So so very bad.  Amanda, what are you doing?  These people are so much better.  You're going to die alone and friendless in a ditch and no one will care because you are a worthless tub of lard with five chins."  As is my normal internal narrative, but it intensifies when I have to compare myself with peers.

4. The skin under my right eye is red and scaly, and I have no idea why.  That's actually a rather minor issue, but.  Still.

5. I spent $100 on tea yesterday.

6. My half of the room is, as usual, in a state of chaos.  CHAOS.  There's a fairly clear dividing line between my half of the room and Tori's, which is just so sad.  I did do the dishes before mold started growing on them this time, so there's a plus for me.  And it seems like most of the fruit flies are gone.

This is why I haven't asked anyone to room with me next year, because when I say I'm messy, I don't think they fully comprehend the sheer magnitude of my clutter.

7.  I bought a party size bag of peanut M&Ms.  If by "party" you mean "sitting alone in the dark watching Rupert Graves movies and wallowing in my self-pity while indulging my gluttony", then yes, I have a party just about every night while I eat my feelings.  (See #2)

8. I'm probably going to end up being a hoarder.  I probably already am, really.  I can't throw things away because I'm afraid that it will hurt its feelings, so there's that.

9.  This isn't particularly a failing on my part, but I just watched the movie Clapham Junction and it was so very depressing.  It started out fine, but then [SPOILER ALERT, BUT ACTUALLY SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS] the guy who just got married has sex with one of the waiters at the reception, and then the waiter gets murdered, and the people who killed him are never caught and the other plot line with the two other guys getting together falls apart because it turns out he's only 14 and he's 30 and Rupert Graves doesn't even get naked in this one.  And at the end all of their hopes are shattered and no one's happy and the nice kid who plays the violin gets gay-bashed and they break his violin, and his mother had saved all her money for years to buy it for him.  I mean, when I started watching it, I thought I was in for a jaunty romp, and then every single character has his dreams crushed.  It's too sad for me to even use proper punctuation.  You can watch it here if you'd like, but be prepared.  And also there's a whole lot of very nude nudity in it, too, if that's not your style.

10.  The formatting of the above paragraph.

But things went well for gay people in real life last night, election-wise, so that's super and groovy!  Hooray hooray hooray!  We've got a gay senator and a pansexual representative, which is super awesome.  Especially because no one seems to know what pansexuality is, and now they'll have to google it and learn!  Yay for social progressivism!  And four more states are no longer engaged in using blatant discrimination to deny fundamental human rights! Things are definitely heading in a more positive direction.