Chimpanzee Attack!

I think that my fear of monkeys is fairly well known at this point.  I can't even stand to be in the same room as so much as a realistic stuffed monkey.  A monkey comes on TV?  We are changing the channel.  Oh, we're going to the zoo?  We're going to see the elephants, walk through the reptile house, and then run for safety before we get anywhere near the primate enclosures.  Because they will find a way to attack, every time.  Once I was in a store and saw a chimpanzee puppet.  I had to run out and hide in the car until I stopped hyperventilating.  I'm not talking about a little discomfort, I really, really freaking hate monkeys.   

"Amanda," you may be asking yourself, if you're the type to address me as such, "Why, monkeys are merely charming little pranksters!  They are lovable scamps!"  No.  False statements.  Keep reading.  And gird your loins.

I am going to insert videos to chimpanzee attacks here.  Chimpanzees are my main monkey fear, and I am secondarily terrified of any primate resembling them.  So, yes, videos, because I'm a masochist who is going to search youtube for this, and am also a terrible person and sharing my monkey-phobia with the world.

I only watched the first thirty seconds of this video.  Because the chimpanzee is screaming, which usually means that everything good in the world is about to die.  Because a chimpanzee is literally ripping off your face.  Google image "chimpanzee attack" if you don't believe me, but be warned, it's graphic.

Is that not one of the most terrifying things you've ever seen?  They're 250 pounds of grabby hands and pointy teeth and evil.  Really, can anyone look at that and not feel at least a bit uncomfortable?  I am currently twitching quite profusely as I type this.  (And, by the way, I got that image from an article entitled "Chimpanzee Rips Off More Body Parts".  I do not believe my fears are unfounded.)

So yes, I am terrified of monkeys.  A little bit paranoid and terrified, to be honest.  Silence of the Lambs?  Bah, I've seen it five times.  Quite amusing, really.  Rubs the lotion on its skin and whatnot.  Documentary on chimpanzee behavior on Animal Planet?  OH GOD NO TURN IT OFF TURN IT OFF I NEED TO HIDE UNDER MY COVERS AND CRY FOR THE NEXT FEW HOURS.  Because they have their freaky teeth and they scream and it's horrible, so I don't need your judgement.  

And now I am going to post this without editing and never look at it again, because there is a large picture of a gaping chimpanzee jaw.  And it makes me want to cry.